Universe

so..do you date a "cuson", if you do,its bether or worsth than date a normal girl?

I assume you mean what is commonly referred to as "Dating in the family"... weird term yes...
Alot of my friends swear that you should never date inside the Masonic family, which sometimes this is the best route depending on local drama, adults and gossip...
On the other hand, most of my demolay, rainbow and job friends all date or have dated within "the family".
It all depends on the girl

There is certainly nothing wrong with dating members of other Masonic orders. Consider that Catholic nuns spiritually "Wed" Christ. If your relationship doesn't compromise your Masonic integrity and your morals that the Order has taught you, then we as brethren should encourage healthy relationships between members of the Several Orders. Just a thought...

Maverick – I couldn’t help but chuckle at your “normal girl” comment. I’m sure that it is a translation thing and you didn’t mean to suggest that Jobies and Rainbow are not normal girls.

As for dating “within the family”; in my part of the country (USA) it is far from frowned upon. To some degree, you might even say it’s encouraged. The parents of the girls understand the principles of the boys and, for the most part, they know the family.

There is little conflict with priorities. Each understands when involvement in their group takes them away for a few days. It’s not a chore to go and sit through three different installations in a weekend (well maybe just a bit of a chore). They understand why they are there and they usually know others that are there. So it’s not some date standing around just waiting to get out of there.

The biggest advantage is that they learn to build friendships first. I can come up with seven Jobie/DeMolay marriages right off the top of my head, including one of my sons.

I’m sure that Dad Blaze and Dad Dietzman will find some amusement in this story; An upright young man, not a DeMolay, wanted to date one of the Jobies in our local Bethel. The father of the young woman said that before he would allow their relationship to go any further, the young man must consider becoming a member of the Masonic Family. The young man looked into it and found the idea favorable. Being a few months away from turning 21 he passed on DeMolay and petitioned the Masonic Lodge. Six months later, at his raising to a Master Mason, the father of the girl asked him if he understood his obligations. The young man said that yes indeed he did. The father then said, “Good, you may now date my daughter without a chaperone”.

This was two years ago. They are close to being engaged and the young man is now serving the Blue Lodge as Sr. Steward.

Gee ... that story sounds familiar ...

Hey Brothers I should add to this. I found this something quit funny about a conversation with a prospect that is goign to be initated here in a couple of weeks. He is dateing a Jobie and her father is the Chairman to the advisory council for our Demolay chapter. Now he is my age and it kinda of well got to me a bit but nothing to be worried about. He was fishing and I came down to the dock were he was at and we were discussing the up comeing Grand bethel and that his G/f which is Grand Senior Princess will be grand bethel Honored queen next year. He said that her father said to him that he would probley be State Master Councilor and escort her in the installion ceremony next grand. Highly doutful because we have no State demolay in my state. And I basically said that most State MC's are PMC in the chapter. I also was asked by the chairman that if and when he is iniated in demolay he would right then and there be MC. well the guys that are in line for MC and SC, JC are and have worked hard to get there I told him that He needed to work hard and show us that he wants to be up in the line that we just cant give it to him. I dont think this is really on this topic but interesting as it is. But in all when I started as a demolay we had a guy that was dateing a Job's daughter and he was basically presured into demolay and dropped out. But they never broke up they are acctually married and are expecting a baby soon. But just thought I would add into

Bro D

anyone that tells me (that is inside the family) to not date inside the family i tell them they are ehhh wrong would be the nice way to put it. and recently i know this will never fly but i created a "degree" for a demolay but i have not written it down, but it shows the drama and realization of a demolay dating outside of the "family" in that the questions 'well why can't i be in the meetings" "what do you mean your going to spend 4 days this summer with 50 guys and 150 beautiful girls" just stuff like that. i mean to me its kinda kool, but i've decided to just keep it to myself. because i have been there in that situation a non-masonic youth girlfriend of mine just didn't understand the concept of when were at my house and about 3-15 guys show up and wind up sleeping on the floor that it's their my brothers. but now the more i hang out with the rainbows around here(the aren't any jobies) i have no interest in them as far as dating but more like their my little sisters and older sisters and we are all really kool. now sometimes one of the guys GF's gets jealous when the chapter sweatheart walks up and hugs him, where as if the gf was a masonic youth she would wait her turn and also hug her cahapter sweatheart sister, since they are both in the same assembly

Okay, I did it! I've been dating inside the family!!

I've been involved with my girlfriend for a little over 9 months now. I'm a Past Master councilor, she's a Past Honored Queen. the benefits of dating someone in the family: No tough questions involving the fraternity! she knows that when I'm talking to the car, or the dog, or the kitchen sink, that I'm probably obligating it. We both understand that we can't be at each other's meetings (side note: I've been to one of her meetings. The joys of Freemasonry are endless. for the record, a bethel meeting is very interesting. I'll say no more, I've promised not to).

but it's just easier because you're not explaining it to someone who's not going to listen. You won't get "Oh, you'd rather pick the guys over me?" But instead, "Okay, have fun at DeMolay/Masons"

I would encourage dating in the family. It's easier. However... normal relationship problems still arise.

S&F

Half of my chapter is dating the local jobs in the area, and I just sit there laughing when the s.c. gf gets upset that he has to go to a masonic thing even though she's the bethel's sp. So even though I'm not dating a jobie/rainbow, I would encourage it greatly, plus it leads to greater communication between chapter and bethel/assembly as a general rule.

Good Morning All,

Okay, I had to weigh in on this one. Now you can have the female perspective. I have been "in the family" my entire life. I have dated "family members", as well as the average Joe. I have found that when you are active in your organizations that it is defiantly easier to date a "family member". I am now not as active as I was and I am engaged to a "Non Family Member". While it can be difficult for him to understand me at times, our relationship is very "normal". With my family background he has become more inquisitive about the Masonic Family. Something that has been said for many years, "You can not help who you fall in love with". My dear brothers and friends, no matter who you date just remember to live life to it's fullest and live for today!

Brenda Miller
Pink Honor Key - DeMolay
Past Honored Queen
Majority Member - Job's Daughters
Majority member - Rainbow for Girls
Past Royal Matron - Amaranth
Member - Eastern Star
Member - White Shrine of Jerusalem
Member - Daughters of the Nile
and always - Dad Donald Crowley's Daughter

Also note that if you are both active in your organizations, your dating must be very professional when it needs to be. Also realize that should anything occur to cause a break-up, you must still maintain a professional relationships when the organizations are together. What's personal stays that way.

S&F

I think it's another thing you have in common. I met my last girlfriend at Masonry. She is Job Daughter and I loved while we had been together.



Sir Jaimar PMC

I know that no one has posted on this in a couple months, but this hits home.

In August of this year my wife and I will have been married 20 years.

She's a Rainbow Girl (PWA, PMA, GC) and love of my life!

Wow! Congratulations!

It's nice to know that some marriages nowadays can last more than 10 years...

Thanks Slayback.

It's had it's struggles, but you have to strive, even figuratively fight, for what you love and believe in.

I credit my faith and lessons I learned in DeMolay for teaching me that fact.

Yes, and I´m trying...

She´s a beautiful japanese Job Daughter, and we are talking about us.

I´m wanting to explane her that my intentions are serious, but I´m a quite shy....

Wish me a good lucky. Maybe we date and in a future wed (with a good cerimonial DeMolay wedding and Job Daughter wedding too)!!!

If i may put in one little piece of advise. The main problem with dating a jobie or rainbow is the breakup. Its great dating a jobie because they have similar ideals as demolays. But the problem is when you break up, it creates a strif between the two groups. And you will probably still have to be around each other. But in my opinion dating a jobie can be good.

with dating a rainbow/Jobie you can honestly tell your girlfriend your going out of town to be with only a handfull of guys and about 150-300 beautiful girls and she won't say a crossword other than ask why she hasn't been told about it yet so that way she can go with you. thats when you know you have been in demolay too long

my wife was a Job's , been together since ( i will age myself now ) , 1979 , beautiful woman love her to death , beautiful kids would die for them , and still to this date remember the names of my fellow chapter members ( most of them ) , guys no worries, really , i am happy and what else can i say ? just don't say grandpa pls..