Universe

So, is it really necessary to say brother, and dad, everytime you say something to another member? Because believe me, I can understand saying it in like a meeting, or when first seeing another member in awhile, but everytime you say anything? Is it really necessary? or am I just going loopy?

Saying Brother to your fellow chapter members or fellow DeMolay in your Juridiction is not necessary, but saying Dad and Mom should be. It is used as courtesy and respect, and as a reminder of Dad Frank Sherman Land.

I agree with Kevin's explanation. When in an actual meeting, another member should be addressed as "Bro. Senior Deacon", if an officer, when doing ritual and "Bro. Johnson" or, more informally, "Bro. Fred" during business discussions.

But outside of meetings, where you are mixing with your DeMolay Brothers as friends, you would address them by name, as you would any other friend.

Should you have a State Officer visit your Chapter, you should always address him as "Brother" since he is always "on duty". However, it is NOT necessary to continuously repeat his full title. Outside of open Chapter normally you may address him as "Bro. Tom" rather than "Bro. Smith".

[Even Grand Masters and Past Grand Masters of Masonry usually feel that the title "Brother" is the highest accolade they can recieve.]

Advisors should ALWAYS be addressed as "Dad" or "Mom" with their last name, as a sign of respect and as a rememberance of "Dad" Land, without whom none of us would have DeMolay to treasure.

Visitors who are not Advisors, should be addressed as "Mr." or "Mrs." with their last name.

James its partly my fault for not addressing the other advisors as Dad during the meetings and providing a good example. Talk to me about it at the next meeting.

Question for the other states: In MN we will address Masons, OES, etc. Grand Officers as Mom or Dad like MWGM Dad Johnson or WGM Mom Hanson even if they are not official advisors. Do other states do that for the leaders of the other Masonic Bodies?

Bro, here in the Philippines we address all Dad Masons as "Dads". And their wives as "Moms". May they be part of the Advisory Council or they are just a brother Mason of Our Chapter Advisors, we still call them Dads... Sometimes even the parents of our Brother Demolays here that are not associated to Freemasonry we call them Dads and Moms... It is a matter of courtesy, respect and brotherhood. Hehehe...

The old DeMolay Handbook and the new Leader's Resource Guide both have always stated that non-Advisors were to be Addressed as Mr. (or Mrs.) _____.

However in actual practice, usually as a matter of intended courtesy, Leaders of Masonic Bodies were usually addressed as "Dad" in my experience. I doubt if anyone will be severly chastised for extending a courtesy title to such visitors.

However, the technical answers I gave above represent, to the best of my knowledge and belief, the official position of DI on the matter ot titles.

The guidance on addressing State Officers is my interpretation of their position, and not on any specific DI reference. State Officers are creations of their Jurisdiction's Executive Officers. It is, however, based on generally accepted practice in the Masonic Fratenity as a whole.

Dad Dietzman

That's right Dad Dietzman. That's accdg to our Ritual. When in a chapter room or meeting, we address visitors, guests or other members of the Masonic bodies that are not part of the Advisory Council as Mr (or Mrs)________. It is really a matter of courtesy and respect why we extend it to almost everyone. Reason why we also call the parents of brothers, who are not part of the Masonic bodies Dad/Mom is because of a certain custom and tradition here in the Philippines.

Dad D has answered this well. The official policy for addressing people is given in the rituals. The newly-updated Monitor of Ceremonies has this text (which will be put in the Ritual for the next version):

Forms of Address: An Active DeMolay who is not an Officer of the Chapter is addressed by the title “Brother” followed by his last name. An Officer of the Chapter is addressed by the title “Brother” followed by the title of his office. A male Advisor is addressed by the title “Dad” followed by his last name. A female Advisor is addressed by the title “Mom” followed by her last name. A Senior DeMolay who is not an Advisor is addressed by the title “Brother” followed by his last name. A Master Mason or male visitor who is not an Advisor, a Senior DeMolay, or an Active DeMolay is addressed by the title “Mister” followed by his last name. A female visitor who is not an Advisor is addressed by the title “Mrs.”, “Miss”, or “Ms.” followed by her last name.

The saddest part about this is that all of that had to be typed out twice!

I have a question, why does it really matter what we call a visitor, a brother, an officer, etc?

Well, Bro/Dad,
It matters because there are indeed distinctions in life and in the Chapter that should be noted. A visitor is not yet a Brother. A non Advisor is not yet a Dad. Those who are Dad and Brother have earned that respect and it is due them. It is like opening a present too early. Example: I once took a Theatre Group to London. We visited the new Globe (repro of Shakespeare's). The young people with me really wanted their picture taken on the Stage. One of our guides very politely let us know we were not in the cast of the current show and had not yet sweated on the boards. Point was graciously taken.

The repetition seems to me to be about clarity, not redundancy. Many on these Forums are very new and need to learn the traditions and appreciate the subtle differences of meaning. It will serve them well later in life if they can appreciate them now.

Greg,

Are there any provisions for what to do when you have more than one "Dad" of the same name?

This has occurred in our chapter so the members have taken to "Dad" Steve, "Dad" Mike, and soon "Dad" Kris. This reduces confusion.

Other Chapters have taken to "Dad" + a second "Dad" which sounds dumb in my view when both a Father and Son become Advisors.

Any Thoughts?

Keystone

One suggesting is to number them. We've got several brothers who join, so the members call them Brother Jones 1, Brother Jones 2, etc. You could do something similar with the Advisors. The members will get used to this. My brother is also an Advisor and being a math person, he is called Dad P-Squared.

Craig Phillips
Executive Officer
Nevada DeMolay

Once I was raised as a Master Mason and became an Advisor it took me forever to stop looking around for my Dad when someone called for "Dad Martino"! LOL And we had the same name (except for that Jr./Sr. thing) so first and middle names didn't even work! It became Dad "Big Gene" and Dad "Little Gene" even though I was taller! ;-). Now Dad has passed on, I am in a new place where they never knew him, and I still look around for him! We are never alone, but stand in the shadows of the heroes who led the way!
In our current Chapter we have 2 sets of Brothers (one set of 3) and we resort to Offices (Brother SC for example)where possible and first names where not. The Chapter seems to cope with it quite well. Keep your sense of humor AND your sense of respect and whatever you come up with should be fine!

Well I decided to write on here. In my home town chapter. We have a few advisors but we only use the Brother/Dad addresses in Chapter meetings when addressing the chapter one stands looks at teh Mc and then says his title (Brother Master councilor) blah blah blah ect... and then we procide but only we address eachother like Brother Jared now in my chapter we have to Jareds and kind funny we use the nicknames one of the Jareds his last name is Gigle well needless to say in Football they called him Giggles and we say Brother Giggles. And just use Brother Holouzer or what not other wise we address eachother in Lodge meetings. But I do see where it would get confusing mostly we know our Advisors and they know us. Just thought I would put my two cents into the topic of conversation.

Brother Derek Runge, PMC, Senior Decean, BHK,LK,FM

You know, I wouldn't get mad if someone didn't call me Brother or Dad, though I believe I've earned both titles, as have many others. At the same time how hard is it to pay the respects due to an individual with such simple, but meaningful, titles as Brother and Dad, and Mom for that matter regardless of time, place, or ocassion. In my Chapter we've had our share of blood brothers, and more than our fair share of Johns, Jasons, Weses and Steves. During meetings you just used their station to recognize them. Outside of that we relied heavily on nick names, but that didn't stop us from using the term Brother. Sure we didn't use it all the time, but it was never an issue of necessity. It was second nature so if it came out it came out.

Courtesy has a big place in the Order of DeMolay.

Brother Shawn,

I agree with you on that You as well as most of us have earned there title Brother/Dad. For me if I have to address something in a meeting I first Stand up and face the MC and title blah blah blah and then say And my fellow demolay brothers and contiue the buisness or what ever I am makeing a statment to. But we use that Brother Derek, Brother Quinn, Brother Charley even with the Senior DeMOlay we still use that. To me it shows respect towards another brother. But also we dont walk out in public and say oh hey Brother Craig how are you doing today. People will start to ask what the Heck?? Done it before in my younger years. But Nicknames are a way we have some fun too of course not the bulling and what not that Doesnt go for me and theres.

Brother Derek

What's wrong with people asking, "What the Heck?" Its a start. You got the ball rolling. Get the word out.

brother,
There ant nothing wrong with what people saying "What the heck?" I have Brothers that where put into situation and not been able to say anything to someone that wanted to know why you are calling a DeMolay brother a Brother. Nothing wrong with it but we are used to calling out side the meetings eachother either by our first names or nicknames. I for one will wirte an email to My MC and just say brother Quinn and so on. Or any of my demolay brother I write Brother followed by there name. Nothing wrong with that when people ask you about DeMolay most in this community I live in know what it is.

Brother Derek

During my term, they call me "MC" even outside the meeting. Brothers, sisters or even dads or moms called me "MC". Maybe it has been a tradition here in the Philippines to be associated with titles. Even outside the meetings, we called our dad masons as Dads or moms to their wives or brother to a brother DeMolay. I believe this is a kind of respect we give to the person and most impirtantly to the office he/she is representing. Even after my term we are now being called as "PMC" or "Brother PMC". I think this is to acknowledge the work they have done or impact they give to the chapter. There is nothing wrong to call a person "brother" it symbolizes the respect and how we treat the person. Well to be called a brother by someone you are not related to really emphasizes the closeness of each other. I never asked to be called as such in the first place but to be called a brother is simply gratifying. Well lets just say this is what type of tie that binds us within our family...